On Friday Papa John's customers not only can get a deal on the Double Bacon Six-Cheese pizza, they also have the chance to appreciate CEO's John Schnatter's plan to pass on the costs of Obamacare to his employees and customers.Yes, you heard right. They're recognizing Papa John's for being asshats to their employees and customers. Something like, "Yay, I'm paying more for my pizza that is being delivered by someone who is getting screwed by his employer!" Does this make any sense at all?
That's right Papa John’s Appreciation Day is here. Organized by the conservative group Rebooting America, the event aims to prop-up the controversial national pizza chain with pizza sales and online support, according to the group's Facebook page. There's even a hashtag: #IStandWithPapaJohns.
Rebooting America argues that Papa John's is only reacting reasonably to the pressures of the new Health Care law. Its Facebook page proclaims: "Papa Johns has been targeted by the left for a boycott, for simply articulating that ObamaCare would hurt profits and force cutbacks in employee hours. Stand up to this nonsensical and illogical action and support Papa Johns this Friday!"
For these kind of people...
...and these...
...it makes perfect sense.
The bigger the asshats they are, the better the Republican they consider themselves to be.
Here's what I hope.
I hope these people support Papa John's on Friday and gorge themselves on their Double Bacon Six-Cheese Pizza. Hell, I hope they throw some extra sausage on it. On Saturday morning, I hope they head to Denny's and fill themselves up with plenty of greasy grits and bacon with their three cheese omelets. All in support of John Metz. For lunch, I hope they drive to Chick fil-A to continue their support of conservative principles and woof down a couple chicken sandwiches with loads of waffle fries. For dessert, there's no better way these days to demonstrate their distaste of evil unions than to round up a Twinkie or two. Then wash it all down with a huge root beer. Take that, Mayor Bloomberg!
After they're done eating all this Conservative Cuisine, I hope they get in their cars and smoke a cigarette and drive home without seat belts...because you know a good conservative hates the government telling them what to do.
This is the regimen I hope each and every one of these fine Republicans will commit to and follow, day in and day out. They will be happy demonstrating their ideological orientation to the world and, eventually, America will evolve into a more compassionate and tolerant place to live.
It would take some time but I'm a patient man, especially when it comes to improving the quality of life.
Oh, hey...I'm also banking on these folks totally rejecting Obamacare.
Because you gotta stay true to your principles and all. Right?
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